dpease.com operating philosophy compendium

1. "Such firms gave a bad name to the penis enhancement business." (in context) (find source)

2. "A vote for Kerry is a vote to die in your own bed at the hands of Dick Cheney." (find source)

3. "It was purely accidental. Momentum carried him beyond." (in context) (find source)

4. "One of us traded Sammy Sosa, please vote accordingly." (find source)

5. "An almost fatal circus event of unprecedented proportions." (in context) (find source)

6. "Does anybody else want to (expletive) with the cowboy?" (in context) (find source)

7. "You have the aura of election upon you." (in context) (find source)

8. "They don't sell insurance for this kind of thing." (in context) (find source)

9. "Voices tell me I'm the shit." (in context) (find source)

10. "A bewildered, confounded and miserably perplexed man." (in context) (find source)

11. "We're all in this together, so help a brother out." (in context) (find source)

12. "If the revolution involves me having to figure out how to recompile my kernel, count me right the fuck out." (in context) (find source)

13. "It's unbelievable, it's unbearable and it's embarrassing." (in context) (find source)

14. "I do not expect to have any significant opportunity for the Hall of Fame." (find source)

15. "Are we being forward-leaning enough?" (in context) (find source)

16. "It is necessary to also want the consequences of what one wants." (in context) (find source)

17. "Don't cheerleaders all over America form pyramids six to eight times a year. Is that torture?" (in context) (find source)

18. "I beamed. This was going very well." (in context) (find source)

19. "John Waters has openly admitted that teabagging is by and large a ludicrous sexual act." (in context) (find source)

20. "I'm a special player and I just want to thank my hands for being so great." (in context) (find source)

21. "That wasn't a nice thing to say. That wasn't designed to make me feel good." (in context) (find source)

22. "You've unleashed the fucking fury!" (in context) (find source)

23. "It’s a very private issue amongst myself." (in context) (find source)

24. "You like being mean to us; you're nothing but a hatred machine." (find source)

25. "okay, but if you make me buffer I will cut you" (in context) (find source)

26. "I like walk, but I swing now. Now I like swing. No more walk." (find source)

27. "If I said something really, really funny in this interview, I would write it down. So far, I've got nothing written down." (in context) (find source)

28. "Lining up for anything, what part of that makes any sense?" (in context) (find source)

29. "When someone knocks on the door, it's either subpoenas or the killers." (in context) (find source)

30. "I don't like celebrity chefs? I got nothing but celebrity chefs." (in context) (find source)

31. "If you don't miss a flight once in a while, you're spending too much time in the airport." (in context) (find source)

32. "Go, with God's curse, for if he loved you as he loves me, he would have provided for you." (in context) (find source)

33. "If this is tea, bring me some coffee. If this is coffee, bring me some tea." (in context) (find source)

34. "I couldn't see myself not being the biggest dope man." (in context) (find source)

35. "There is no protocol on something like this." (in context) (find source)

36. "At least he told the truth -- that's unusual around here." (in context) (find source)

37. "Right now, blind kids can play with a ball, but only if someone is there to find it if it rolls away." (in context) (find source)

38. "Nine-year-olds do not think like that. He only wants to hear good news." (in context) (find source)

39. "It was jelly-like and it stunk horribly, like butter gone off or old chip pan oil." (in context) (find source)

40. "All of my opinions are retractable. So I never put them in writing." (in context) (find source)

41. "Guys bone their bats in broad daylight." (find source)

42. "You may be mostly interested in women but, hey, the guy who delivers the pizza is really hot, and what are you going to do?" (in context) (find source)

43. "To place an attractive young woman in that kind of hell hole is like putting a piece of raw meat in with the lions." (in context) (find source)

44. "If they called it Windows Garbage, would people still buy it? Yeah, they'd buy it." (in context) (find source)

45. "Someone would have to be pretty stupid not to recognize that." (in context) (find source)

46. "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." (in context) (find source)

47. "I am Solo. I will continue to disrupt at the highest levels." (in context) (find source)

48. "I have been known worldwide to pay top dollar for collectable items which I had interest in to buy." (in context) (find source)

49. "He didn't want to, I guess, go the road to go where we were really trying to go." (in context) (find source)

50. "To entertain other interpretations is to flout the very tenets of the scientific method." (in context) (find source)

51. "I won't use it as a reason for being successful or an excuse for losing." (in context) (find source)

52. "Such a woman brings great sin on kabbalah." (in context) (find source)

53. "You are the best Governor ever—deserving of great respect!" (in context) (find source)

54. "I`m going to laugh when IE 7 breaks all of your web pages when it comes out." (in context) (find source)

55. "We’re totally changing that back. That’s the only reason I took the job: I read the title." (in context) (find source)

56. "Don't rush to kiss a stranger on the mouth or you will end up in a deep sleep." (in context) (find source)

57. "Don't mess with me, sir, because you'll get stung." (in context) (find source)

58. "There was inappropriate activity between him and the mannequin. That’s the only way I know how to put it." (in context) (find source)

59. "If I had to stop myself, I probably wouldn't be able to do it, either." (in context) (find source)

60. "You have to go back to the place where thinking begins and stay there." (in context) (find source)

61. "This was not intentionally done by myself." (in context) (find source)

62. "Why do you talk to me? I don’t talk to you. You don’t talk to me. There’s no reason for you to talk to me." (in context) (find source)

63. "It is your duty as judges to investigate the crime at its scene." (in context) (find source)

64. "This is a contact sport. Go out there half-ass and see what happens." (in context) (find source)

65. "Normally, you don't have someone admitting to a possible violation of the Public School Code during an arbitration hearing." (in context) (find source)

66. "It's just the Internet, for God's sake. It's nothing important." (in context) (find source)

67. "311, I am ready to fight." (in context) (find source)

68. "This whole thing is a little confusing. I'll just leave it at that. The best way to say it is he violated the program." (in context) (find source)

69. "If anybody in South Bend tells you there are no gangs in South Bend, they don't know what they're talking about." (in context) (find source)

70. "Invest more in heavy sexual acts. Not too distorted, but at least interesting in nature." (in context) (find source)

71. "Yeah, just about everything is better if you are an archaeologist." (in context) (find source)

72. "She may want me to stay quite, and not talk about her it all in the book, I'll be more happy to do, if we can come to an agreement..." (in context) (find source)

73. "From the story I just told you, I think that would be impossible for that to happen." (in context) (find source)

74. "She's had damn rapists, child molesters and lying authors on her show. And if I'm not a rags-to-riches story for her, who is?" (in context) (find source)

75. "We're talking here about a crime committed against a child, and shortness is not a defense." (in context) (find source)

76. "Los Angeles is not known as a place that has fires in warehouses and we would like to keep it that way." (in context) (find source)

77. "Whatever opinions anyone else has is totally irrelevant. I'm operating from a position of advantage." (in context) (find source)

78. "You are not a dictator. It is the people who surround a man who make him a dictator." (in context) (find source)

79. "Voltron still hasn't fully formed yet." (in context) (find source)

80. "He is a very unimportant person who has delusions of grandeur." (in context) (find source)

81. "People who know how much they're worth generally aren't worth too much." (in context) (find source)

82. "We are just trying to concentrate on rejuvenating his career in other ways rather than through reality television." (in context) (find source)

83. "Mississippi gets more than their fair share back in federal money, but who the hell wants to live in Mississippi?" (in context) (find source)

84. "If there are extraterrestrials in outer space, KFC wants to become their restaurant of choice." (in context) (find source)

85. "Because when I sleep, my man be out." (in context) (find source)

86. "I'm 20 deep. My boys are coming." (in context) (find source)

87. "I'm trying to soak it all in ... but I'm sweating like a slave up here." (in context) (find source)

88. "You can’t put a seatbelt on heroin." (in context) (find source)

89. "I do not approve of any of my actions and I do not approve of the words that came out of my mouth." (in context) (find source)

90. "This is the flash point. This is the time of raised pitchforks." (in context) (find source)

91. "You wonder what the people at the Department of Mental Retardation were thinking." (in context) (find source)

92. "Hell, why did I do that? I'm going back to prison, man." (in context) (find source)

93. "To say he looked like a deer in headlights would be to insult the deer." (in context) (find source)

94. "That's not a hair question. I'm sorry." (in context) (find source)

95. "You know how you read between the lines? As a recruiter, I have to hear between the lines." (in context) (find source)

96. "She's not breathing, and she's not responsive. She's, um, actually Anna Nicole Smith." (in context) (find source)

97. "It’s called secondary virginity. It is a big movement in high school and also available for politicians." (in context) (find source)

98. "We're talking about behavior that is unbecoming of a diplomat." (in context) (find source)

99. "I was surprised he did that. I didn't feel it was appropriate at all." (in context) (find source)

100. "That's some nappy-headed hos there, I'm going to tell you that." (in context) (find source)

101. "That claim fails the straight-face test." (in context) (find source)

102. "I like lesbians, but they shouldn't be allowed to run for king." (in context) (find source)

103. "She came over to insult me and she succeeded." (in context) (find source)

104. "I look forward to working with your fine Police Department to shut this little extortion factory down and/or arrest some of its employees." (in context) (find source)

105. "Yo, Blair. How are you doing?" (in context) (find source)

106. "We might as well add colorblind, left-handed, allergic-to-cashews, and get it over with." (in context) (find source)

107. "Some small American newspapers frequently fabricate offbeat news to trick people into noticing them with the aim of making money." (in context) (find source)

108. "You dead, dawg, I ain't even bullshitting. Your kids, too." (in context) (find source)

109. "Prosecuting a woman for staring at a police dog is absurd." (in context) (find source)

110. "I responded to his comment with my right hand." (in context) (find source)

111. "I'm not drunk in your court. You want to see me drunk in your court?" (in context) (find source)

112. "The light of GODS LOVE shines through YOU!!!" (in context) (find source)

113. "Your oath is not to uphold the president." (in context) (find source)

114. "It’s very disrespectful and not at all aesthetically pleasing." (in context) (find source)

115. "You've got me really scared about my brain right now. I'm really having a problem." (in context) (find source)

116. "There is no indication of a nexus to terrorism at this time." (in context) (find source)

117. "I am OK. My car's not OK, but I am." (find source)

118. "I don't, ah, I am not gay, I don't do these kinds of things and..." (in context) (find source)

119. "Embarrassing, embarrassing. No wonder why we're going down the tubes." (in context) (find source)

120. "We realised that struggling artists are meant to struggle, that's the whole point." (in context) (find source)

121. "With the sheriff railing on me right now, it's kind of hard to say anything." (in context) (find source)

122. "My blocking? It sucks. I'm not gonna lie." (in context) (find source)

123. "There is no hard-and-fast rule about how long a house can sit on the side of the freeway." (in context) (find source)

124. "Anyone who thinks this affects me isn't using logic." (in context) (find source)

125. "I’m not about to put one person under the bus, because that just precedes putting the next person under the bus. That’s why I don’t go to the bus." (in context) (find source)

126. "It sort of goes in cycles. Right now, he's the man pedaling the cycle." (in context) (find source)

127. "Can I be frank? I trade deer meat for crack." (in context) (find source)

128. "To them people booing, wait 'til my husband gets out of incarceration. And I mean that." (in context) (find source)

129. "I'm Tim. I drive an Aries." (in context) (find source)

130. "It's just really hard to describe how difficult it was working with this guy." (in context) (find source)

131. "We firmly believe there is just one rogue elf out there." (in context) (find source)

132. "I don't know what the deal was. It was just bizarre." (in context) (find source)

133. "It happened. That sucks. Gotta move on." (in context) (find source)

134. "If I was that cat I’d leave on my own accord — I’d call a cab. It ain’t right. This ain’t Toys R Us. They took my cat." (find source)

135. "The proof is in the pudding. You judge a tree by its fruit." (in context) (find source)

136. "No one destroys my dream." (in context) (find source)

137. "I think I've been ripped off, dude!" (in context) (find source)

138. "You want to know his original name? It ends with Frankenstein." (in context) (find source)

139. "We'll burn that bridge as we cross it. But as a rule I don't like dealing with people who turn hostile over an act of stupidity." (in context) (find source)

140. "Rearranging your clothes and masturbating are definitely two different things." (in context) (find source)

141. "The last time that I checked a nipple was not a dangerous weapon." (in context) (find source)

142. "We have no intention of prosecuting Rush Limbaugh because lying through your teeth and being stupid isn't a crime." (in context) (find source)

143. "She needs more of ze punishment!" (in context) (find source)

144. "Macs aren't just for blue-haired old ladies. Or for floating boats. They are also for a subset of things that PCs do!" (in context) (find source)

145. "The first thought was, you know, it’s never a good thing to be buried in cement when you’re in New York." (in context) (find source)

146. "I don't know exactly how to respond to that." (in context) (find source)

147. "Bush, Bush you low-life! Saddam's blood is not cheap!" (in context) (find source)

148. "We're supposed to be on the same team!" (in context) (find source)

149. "Everything points to the pilot forgetting to lower the wheels, which does happen from time to time." (in context) (find source)

150. "This case is unique in its depth of complexity and depravity." (in context) (find source)

151. "I am outgoing, very lovable, fun to be around, a man of great character. I'm just a lovable guy." (in context) (find source)

152. "Sir, could you please allow me to walk like a man to your cop car?" (in context) (find source)

153. "I'll be in hell before you start breakfast, boys! Let her rip!" (in context) (find source)

154. "This is the most stupid baseball playing I’ve ever seen!" (in context) (find source)

155. "I don't know exactly how a well hung father can enhance the physical makeup of a female baby, but it can't hurt." (in context) (find source)

156. "Lord, if only I could have talked to Hitler, all of this might have been avoided." (in context) (find source)

157. "If you write that, it will be factually incorrect and bordering on slander. And I will come after you." (in context) (find source)

158. "This is either a threat to be ignored or an offer to be accepted." (in context) (find source)

159. "This isn’t a press event. It’s a tourist occasion. Why don’t you learn something?" (in context) (find source)

160. "Is it prurient? I don't know what to tell you. I think it's odd and interesting. It's part of life." (in context) (find source)

161. "I'm going to be really honest right now, he needs to just not speak in public. Period." (in context) (find source)

162. "You destroy communities. You punish the men, and you punish the women, doing it in front of the men." (in context) (find source)

163. "Intensity is what the public demands of us." (in context) (find source)

164. "She looked like something out of a fairytale! We had to find her and we searched high and low until we did!" (in context) (find source)

165. "The report is absolutely incorrect, devoid of facts, misleading and irresponsible. It is a figment of imagination." (in context) (find source)

166. "If they only knew how much fun I was having in here, they would turn me loose." (in context) (find source)

167. "I'd advise them to get a better class of employees." (in context) (find source)

168. "If I can get the kids to believe homosexuality is normal!" (in context) (find source)

169. "Dude, I can't talk, I'm being chased by the police." (in context) (find source)

170. "I loved him so much that I would ski naked down Mount Everest with a carnation up my nose if he asked me to." (in context) (find source)

171. "You better come get your uncle—I just killed him." (in context) (find source)

172. "Maybe your next article should be about lower-energy solutions to powering rockets with which you can launch yourself directly into the Sun?" (in context) (find source)

173. "Meanwhile the bankers run off to their private islands and laugh at the stupid fat fluorodated, mercury vaccinated public whos killing themselves over boxes of hamburger helper." (in context) (find source)

174. "We're talking about damn fools that have built houses on the edge of the sea for as long as man could remember and against every advice anyone has given." (in context) (find source)

175. "I don't know what he was doing, but he got me to fire him." (in context) (find source)

176. "I think the moment has arrived for the court to shine the light of constitutionality on the reasons for detention." (in context) (find source)

177. "The parties are advised to chill." (in context) (find source)

178. "Saakashvili, I'm going to make him hang by the balls." (in context) (find source)

179. "Mr. Cent intends to vigorously pursue this case." (in context) (find source)